He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
