Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
