I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
