i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
