i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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