GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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