Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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