they need to just BURY HIM!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
