OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
