I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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