He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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