i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
