I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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