I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
