would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
