if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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