wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
