Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she told me i tasted like america
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Please don't give away my fajitas
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
