I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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