This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
