the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
