Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
