Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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