It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
