It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
