# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
