Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
