Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
