Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My day in three words: secret purse cake
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
