Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
