How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Randomize
