I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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