dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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