I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
