He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
