I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
