I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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