16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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