I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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