Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
