Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
