So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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