The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
