Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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