Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
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