With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize