goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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