Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize