Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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