Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She even gives head with a lisp.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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