My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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