Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
