I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize