gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
