please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
