What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
