That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
