I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize